hello readers..
by looking at the title nampak mcm superb je kan.. but anyway it just an idiot love story to tell... hahaha..
just to share sbb nak hilangkn beban dihati..

well.. its all started when i was in form 4.. around tahun 2000 gitu.. i met this guy in one of chatting room..mmg time tuh tgh "GILER" dgn internet... dengan chatting! baru2 belajar gitu..dan kalau boleh 24hours nak kena online.. masa tuh internet kena restriction kat rumah.. so, mmg cyber cafela tmpat yang dituju.. all the saving money habis kat situ je..

berbalik pada cerita td..i met him there..at that time dia dah umur 25thn kot... dun know how can it being started.. cinta monyet gitu kan.. because i'm not a person yg senang nak percaya pada lelaki apatah lagi pada cinta.. but at that time it just happened! we chatted a lot.. we exchange story.. cards, even photos..even letters too.. no H/p on that time...! waktu tuh dia tgh get ready to fly to US..Colorado to further his study there..and i was get ready too, to entering the boarding school.. we lost connection for a while..!

I did a phone call as much as I can.. kat asrama mcm mana nak lebih2 pulak kan!! konon2 to show caring la tuh! well, that guy sangat ego.. sangat selfish but in some cases dia sangat menyenangkan.. i didnt know why i like him so much... cinta itu buta kan...

sampailah hAri yang he has to fly to US.. i want to send him off tpi dia kata its ok!! time tuh dunia ni gelap ku rasakan... the most idiot things yang aku penah buat is.. potong gambar that guy and put it in my purse.. eiii.. konon2 nak melepaskan rindu... and disebabkan my friends kata muka dia iras2 norman hakim [diorang yg kata..not me] i used to find the poster and put it in my locker...alamak... giler sungguh aku time itu... i'm totally out of mind!

oh ye..he used to sang 'I can love you like that' by all4men tru phone.. eiiiiii...geli...
right after he landed at US..everything moving slowly... just berhubungan tru email...sometimes tru chat rooms..
sampaila disuatu ketika yang tidak disangka-sangka.. he call me from US... xker berbangga on that time... sangat terhawu... and we all declared as unofficial bF & gF..[wht the...] international call weh... senyum meleret sampai tido pun!.. gembira punye pasal!

perjalanan hidup kami terus berjalan.. and he did call me...and at that time i'm changed to be a romantic person... i wrote a poem.. make a card.. and mcm2 lagila.. my life totally change.. he used to encourage me ..bagi nasihat macam makcik-makcik..

until one fine day, both of us lost connection... dah lupe how it can happen.. setahun kot.. hati ini mula merasakan something has happen to both of us.. clash la konon... tp, sbb cinta tu buta dan aku ini sangat muka tembok i keep on send him email.. mengharapkan sesuatu yg mmg xpasti langsung!

tiba2..when i was further my diploma.. he called me.. i dun know how he got my hp number[time tuh dah advance..dah pakai hp]..perasaan lama terus hidup kembali.. siapa suruh die call.. tgk dah angau semula... he just gave me a new hope that we still have a chance!! bodohnye aku time tuh!! and he keeps me on waiting and waiting... bagaikan tiada jodoh kami terputus hubungan lagi..

disebabkan muka tembok..i'm the one yg keep on getting him.. i've text him a lots.. miss called and my world turn to nothing bila no respond from him.. until one day, he texted me and told me he already have somebody..[damned.. he just ruined my life] and they are getting engage.. time tuh rasa nak pitam.. i'm crying for the whole day! konon-konon xdapat nak terima kenyataan..but still hoping that there is still a chance for me to get him back [so stupid of me]..

FYI currently, i cant forget him.. xboleh langsung lupakan beliau.. pernah juga skodeng akaun friendster die just to get knowing how is him today! [still stupid] xsilap..skrg ni die dah jadi lecturer kot dekat private institution.. i'm happy for him.. mmg dia layak untuk bergelar pensyarah!

tp, he left me without saying anything... its all ended dengan tiba-tibe...siapa yg dapat terima kenyataan mcm tuh... ala-ala habis madu sepah dibuang..

disebabkan itu until now.. i didnt believe in LOVE again... i didnt trust GUYs anymore... eventho that's all i wanted to do now..
thanks a lot pada dia sbb meninggalkan aku dengan sifat-sifat negatif ini... sehinggalah hari ini im not interested to find my true love anymore even tho i believe its out there for me...[bajet ade je kan] dun tell me that you love me.. dun tell me that u miss me.. because for me now that's all shit things! time, could you please take away all the memories dengan die.. even bayangan die pun.. i dun want to remember nothing on him! semuanya dah berakhir..its all over now!

hello readers..

while i'm checking my emails, i did read this nice article on how to become a better person.. sort of motivational article but its good for us to read it.. and i think some of it really helpful!! so, there's the article.. do spend time to read this!

this article was written by Zoe Weil, author of Most Good, Least Harm: A Simple Principle for a Better World and Meaningful Life...

hello readers.. suddenly ter'came' across lagu nih.. "won't look back" sang by KRU.. one of my favorite song dalam album The Way We Jam their 1st debut full English album.. just love the way the song should be! below is the lyric of the song!

Won't Look Back
(Norman / Yusry /Edry)

Every time I look, every time I stare upon a mirror
I really don't know whom I thought I knew for years
Who's the man I see, he's bee foolin' me
Keeps teelling me what I thought I was supposed to be
Twenty five years had passed I've made a lot of sacrifice
I do everything for everybody but me
No, no, no one can really tell, I hide my tears so well
By the time they look, they can only see the smiles
Sometimes I wonder, they care as how much I cared
Would they really dare to do the things I dared
Anyway that don't matter, if they don't do the same to me
I'd still be doing things I do, you see
My life, is like a burning candle
Bringing joy to people, giving light though how much
It's hurting me, if that's the way it's gotta be then let it be
But this tme the pain's too deep, too hard

chorus:

To my heart
Can no longer take this pain
No longer sleep at night
I don't wanna live another day
Don't wanna fall apart
I just wish I could vanish all that's breaking me
Just leave the misery
And don't look back

Everytime I try, to lie to myself that everything's ok
I can't deny, I cry and all that I can say
God, have mercy
Please give me, give me, show the light to me
So I can give the joy the people want to feel
So I can live another day until I have no will
If that's the way then let it be
But this time the pain's too deep to hard

repeat chorus

Everyday I pray I have the strength to carry on
Every night and day I pray things just work my way
Well, it better be that way, it's a dangerous game I play
But no one has to know all the heartache I take
It's a nightmare out there, I've got no one to share
Troubles in my mind, in my mind I bare
If that's the way it's got to be, then let it be
But this time's the pain's too deep, too hard

hello readers...

already 12th day passed the 2011... time flew so fast!!
erm.. i'am so thankful now for being surrounded with the loves one... that's what my feeling expressed for the time being... alamak... ter'tacing' plak pagi nih kan... tp, mmg saya bersyukur sangat..ada keluarga yang menyayangi.. ada kawan2 yg boleh berkongsi rasa hati... dah rasa mcm complete sangat hidup ni.. except for not yet having my soulmate la kan... hope to find one ASAP.. then my life dah complete!!!

well, tadi we had organised that so called surprise birthday party untuk jajat.. my officemate.. semuanya mcam last minute.. xda perancangan awal pun.. except the small gift we that gave him.. aduyaii.. penat juga nak keluarkan idea mcm tuh.. maklumlah, nak bagi present yang lain kita xtahu sangat citarasa orang lain.. kang takut x berkenan pulak kan.. so, i decided to have that idea as a gift! lagipun dah lama sangat x buat editing nih... because of time lacking nih...

so, event tadi sangat best.. we had our dinner together... mmg happening... ada sebiji kek with a candle yang ijat dah blew up.. we had a good chatting.. we laugh together.. and its just a precious moment i ever had.. sangat berterima kasih pada malmal.. nazri...thaqif... ijat.. mmg so nice to get knowing them... sangat terharu when everybody enjoyed the moment... thanx sangat sbb menghargai hasil kerja gila saya... and i really knew that the album akan beri kesan lebey pada sesiape yg mendapatnya...! next project will be Nazri's birthday... and the plan starts now!

eventho..dorg ni bukanlah sebaya.. underage gitu kan.. tp mmg best sangat dapat kenal dengan dorang.. lagi best kita semua satu kepala.. kdg2 gila2 pun sekali... age doesnt matter.. ingredient tu yg penting!

alamak... rasa tacing terlebih nih... kenapa eh overdose tacing plak nih!! because of people appreaciated my job kot... hehehe.. and yg menerimanya pun tacing juga.. gonna stop by now... end up with part of the photos ye...