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Its about marriage..love and relationship!!

1:36 PM

its worth for you to read this.. so touching.. and its teach us how to appreciate our love ones.. and how to appreciate the MARRIAGE..


If U're in a relationship, married or none, read this. U'll know why at the end.


MARRIAGE 

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. 

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. 

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? 

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her! 

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. 

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now. 

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. 

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. 

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. 

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. 

She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. 

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. 

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside 
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office. 

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her. 

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. 

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. 

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. 

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. 

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. 

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy. 

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore. 

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. 

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. 

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart. 

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead. 
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband.... 

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage! 

If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you. 

If you do, you just might save a marriage. 
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up. 

A CHRIST-CENTERED MARRIAGE IS A MARRIAGE THAT IS SURE TO LAST A LIFETIME. 

So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate. Matthew 19:6.

By Stephanie Halmilton

Article

Still single? What's the matter with you?

6:54 AM


By Karin Anderson, Special to CNN
August 13, 2010 -- Updated 1336 GMT (2136 HKT)



Editor's note: Karin Anderson is a professor of psychology and counselor education at Concordia University Chicago. She is also the author of "It Just Hasn't Happened Yet."
(CNN) -- "You're such a beautiful girl! I can't understand why you're still single!"
"I don't get what those men aren't seeing in you. You're a catch!"
"How is it that a bright, gorgeous woman like you isn't married?"
I get it all the time --the seemingly innocent queries, perplexed, pitying looks, and left-handed compliments. So lovely, so charming, so talented --how in the world am I still single? One of life's great mysteries....
And sure, the observations appear benign. At first blush, they'd be considered flattery.
A closer look, however, reveals a secondary message lurking just beneath the surface -- "Well, you certainly seem wonderful, but you're in your forties and still single. What's that about? Maybe you harbor some man-repelling neurosis or you're such a control freak you scare 'em all off. Something must be going on or else you'd be married like any normal 40-year-old woman!"
They often think it, even if they don't say it. Then again, sometimes they do say it.
"Well, you're pretty picky and high maintenance."
"You probably intimidate a lot of men. Maybe tone it down a notch."
"You've got to make an effort. But don't hunt 'em down! Men can sense desperation!"
I shrug my shoulders and laugh it off. Seriously? Are we really having this conversation? It's the new millennium! Didn't women picket and petition and burn their bras to get us past such archaic thinking? I thought this mentality went out with beehive hairdos and vacuuming in heels.
Still . . . I'll admit it. Every once in a while the comments get the better of me. Maybe, they're right. It's true I haven't had a decent relationship in years. I could be messing things up without even realizing it....
So I take a look around, investigate a bit. It's time to get to the bottom of this.
What I find is rather alarming. Myriad messages from sundry sources proclaim that, yes, I'm doing it all wrong. Chick flicks depict quirky, lovelorn women who, after Pygmalionesque metamorphoses, emerge "fixed" and finally suitable for marriage.
Women's mags warn of "Dating Don'ts" and relationship faux pas while bookstores' self-help sections admonish with titles like "You Can Keep A Man: Stop Sabotaging Your Relationships" and "The Ten Stupid Things You Do to Chase Away Prince Charming."
I feel myself beginning to cave -- who am I kidding? I can't refute this arsenal of why-I'm-dateless data. I guess they're right. It is my fault I'm still single! I'm too needy, too independent, too crazy, or too reclusive. Too emotional, too cerebral, too passive, or too domineering. Too something.
Great, now what? It'll take a complete personality overhaul to straighten out this mess! A daunting task, to be sure, but I'm on my way. All I have to do is identify and correct the character flaw (or two or three) that repels the good ones, and then I, too, will find Mr. Right, just like all my married friends!
Which is precisely where the logic breaks down.
Think about it. If single women possess imperfections and eccentricities which prevent us from snagging a man, then such personality shortcomings would appear much less frequently in the population of happily married women, right? Sure. Ask any husband -- he'll tell you. Wives show a full range of kinks and idiosyncrasies, just like the rest of us.
Furthermore, many of my happily married girlfriends exhibit extreme versions of the very traits that supposedly stymie my success. If my neurotic nature so utterly repels the fellas, how is it my Xanax-popping neighbor has a husband, 3 children, a garage full of anti-bacterial gel to pacify her OCD ? If I'm so horribly controlling, how did my bossy, domineering sorority sister badger her man down the aisle before the age of 24?
Sure, single women have deficiencies. So do married women. So do all of us! The tragic flaws of singles flare no more flagrantly than anyone else's. Theories asserting that these objectionable qualities explain our solo status amount to mere conjecture at best and flat out absurdity at worst.
Seriously.
I know you want more -- a formula or algorithm for changing whatever it is that blocks your relationship success. If we're all sullied and marred, how do some of us still manage to meet "The One"? What's their secret?
Well, that much I can tell you. I'm happy to let you in on this undisclosed, highly classified information. Are you ready? Brace yourself. THEY GOT LUCKY. And we will too someday, but it just hasn't happened yet.
That's right -- it just hasn't happened yet. Single women aren't screwed up (well at least no more than anyone else out there), we don't need to register for self-improvement seminars or undergo eight years of psychoanalysis. There's nothing more we should or could be doing and nothing we need to change. It just hasn't happened yet.
Next time they come at us with, "You're such a beautiful girl! I can't understand why you're still single!"
"It just hasn't happened yet."
"I don't get what those men aren't seeing in you. You're a catch!"
"It just hasn't happened yet."
"How is it that a bright, gorgeous woman like you isn't married?"
All together now, "It just hasn't happened yet!"


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